Good morning sunshine,
I can’t believe it, but for the first time that I can remember, I missed sending out my weekly newsletter.
And first, I want to say sorry, friend. I hate when I miss the imaginary deadlines I’ve created for myself. I love sharing parts of myself with the world through my art and writing.
But I’m also proud to say I missed the deadline because this Type-A overachiever finally gave himself permission to rest. And so in the next few issues I want to talk about our relationship with rest.
Productivity culture has convinced us that our worth is directly proportional to our output. And with a three-page to-do list that never stops growing, a home that’s somehow always 30% chaos, and this burning desire to grow my personal brand through video content—giving myself permission to rest feels… wrong. Counterintuitive. Irresponsible, even.
But last week I accidentally made the decision to take a break.
The plan was simple: finish packing the last of the 485 preorders from the SoCurious shop relaunch. Take a day to reset. Then get back to the grind.
Instead, when I woke up Wednesday morning, my body didn’t just say “no.”
It said “Hell to the Naw.”
And thankfully, I wasn’t sick. I was just tired. The kind of tired I hadn’t felt in a long time. Slightly grumpy. Buzzing with anticipation but cognitively overloaded. The kind where no matter how much sleep I got, I could still take a nap.
Or in layman’s terms: Pre-Burnout.
In mid-December I decided to give SoCurious one more chance and do a big relaunch. Every single day since then had been me learning new skills, applying concepts from all my previous lives, and trusting that things would work out. Because they had to. It felt like the final major test after the hardest three years of my life.
And in some ways I felt proud. I was checking in with myself. Moving at a slower pace than usual. Taking lots of breaks during the day.
But I was still clocking 8–10 hours. Every. Single. Day.
So I made the call to disconnect for four beautiful days.
Still. The guilt was loud.
But as I laid in bed—unwilling to even turn on the TV—I remembered the promise I made to myself when I quit my toxic corporate job.
No job is worth more than my peace.
And I realized that includes my own small business.
Because rest isn’t the opposite of productivity. It’s what literally makes productivity possible.
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Why the guilt showed up
The first two days, I couldn’t shake it.
Part of it was practical: I feel behind in life. 2025 was such a hard financial year and I just need to make up ground as quickly as possible.
But there was something bigger underneath that. I kind of feel like I’ve finally hit my stride emotionally and spiritually. Like I’m finally doing the things I’m supposed to be doing in this world. And when you feel like you’re on the right path, there’s this urgency to sprint. To make up for lost time. To not waste a single moment now that you finally know where you’re going.
So the guilt during those four days was relentless.
I need to be doing something. I should be cleaning the house. I could use this time to meal prep. I really need to clean out the refrigerator.
The pressure was suffocating. And it was entirely self-imposed.
What helped me move through it
Here’s what I realized: I can get everything done without being mean to myself.
I can have a chill, relaxed day as long as I work with my natural rhythm instead of against it. For me that looks like lazy but productive mornings with no rush. A productivity dip in the afternoon—perfect for a nap or a long meandering walk. Then a second wind in the early evening. Up and down. Breaks built in. That’s just how my ADHD brain works.
And this whole experience is changing my perspective on what productivity actually looks like for me. Because productivity for me looks like resting a lot more than I’ve ever allowed myself to.
But why am I like this?
I grew up a millennial overachiever. Every minute of my life was programmed to the maximum. A full school day. Boy Scouts. March of Dimes. Karate. DECA. The school recital. Running for student council. If there was an extracurricular that would look good on my college applications, I was in it.
And I would hit burnout, get sick for four days, then get back on the horse again. My whole life.
Push until you break. Recover just enough. Repeat.
So learning to trust myself and what my body is telling me—more than any external force, more than the grind culture I was raised in—that’s the key to my internal liberation.
The bigger lesson
Even when you’re working for yourself—especially when you’re working for yourself as an overachiever—you have to set clear boundaries.
You are your boss. And you are your employee.
And if you wouldn’t let a boss treat you the way you’re treating yourself? It’s time to have a conversation with management.
Did the guilt fully go away? Honestly, no. But it got quieter. And that feels like enough for now. Because growth is an intentional decision you make every single day—not a destination you arrive at.
I went through a season of lack. A terrifying stretch where I genuinely wondered if my dreams would come to fruition. Where I wondered if my audacity would lead to me falling flat on my face publicly…again.
But I survived. With the support of my closest people, and through hard work, dedication, and a little bit of luck, I watched my business show its first real signs of life.
So I’m choosing to trust. In myself. In my vision. In the universe to continue to provide like it always has.
My foot is no longer slamming on the gas. Because the goal was never to sprint to the finish line. It was to build a life that actually feels good to live.
So here’s my question for you: What’s your relationship to rest? And how do you want that to change in 2026?
Hit reply and tell me. I genuinely want to know.
I’ll be back next week with the next piece in this series—the 7 types of rest your body actually needs, and how to figure out which ones you’re starving for.
See you then.