Tired of swiping right on the wrong people, I decided to take a bit of a dating sabbatical. My goal was simple–to realign my expectations with the intention of figuring out what I want in a relationship. But also I needed a chance to do some thoughtful research on how to date with intention.


Here’s what I learned:

State your intentions. If you’re looking to build a relationship say that in your profile. On the other hand, if you’re looking for a summer fling, it’s okay to be upfront. And if the person you’re seeing tells you what they’re looking for believe them. You will not change their mind. The super nice guy that told you he’s emotionally unavailable is a f*ck boy telling you the truth.

There’s power in courtship. Work on establishing a connection through different forms of communication. Talk on the phone. Go on a walk. Schedule a Facetime. Grab a drink. Netflix without the chilling to see if you feel an emotional spark without sex.

It’s okay to have non-negotiables. Whether you desire a partner with a professional career or a person that doesn’t chew with their mouth open, you have permission to establish your standards and stick to them.

Keep it real within reason. You should never have to edit your personality to find your person. But you also don’t have to expose all your baggage in the first few dates. Wear that outfit that makes you feel super confident on first dates, but don’t hide the key personality traits that make you unique.

There’s no time limit on finding the right person. If you are feeling external or internal pressure about finding a partner, spend some time learning how to be happy alone. The perfect partner is not going to complete you. They will be an addition to an already fully completed person.

Here’s hoping you no longer have to send this text to group chat: “I think I’m in love for this week.”